Last weekend I had an MRI. About six weeks before hand I had one and could not go through of it because of anxiety. This time I was given the sedative Ativan to alleviate any anxiety during the MRI. The sedative worked, but what I thought was the trigger bringing on my anxiety from the first MRI was wrong.
The back story is that in the past 31 years since the onset of my medical diagnosis I have easily had over 100 MRIs without a hint of anxiety. The last MRI before last weekend was two years ago with zero anxiety. The reason I was having this MRI is because the vision in my left eye has been significantly blurrier than my right eye. This doctor that ordered the MRI knowing my medical history wanting to rule out any brain lesions that could cause vision distortion.
The overall good news is that my MRI was fine. No lesions. My doctor suspected this and so did I. What I thought the trigger to my racing anxiety last time is this “mask” they put over my face to amplify the brain and eye or “orbits” areas.
Taking the Ativan helped, but not nearly enough making me even sleepy. Still, I figured I would just keep my eyes closed the entire time. The trigger ended up being this Styrofoam type material they put between the back of my head and the surface of the MRI. Almost immediately I felt anxiety coming on. The tech switched the material to a much softer version that allowed more mobility. I agreed to proceed with the MRI. Also, what helped was a mirror was placed at the roof of this “mask” so I could see out.
I was told the whole scan would take an hour where they would bring me out mid-way to inject contrast in an IV. Still, I kept my eyes closed. What I did not count on was that my left hand got that feeling of being “asleep” and I had to shake my hand to get some circulation. Every time I did this, I would hear, “quit moving.” Because of that, the hour scan ended up being an hour and a half.
Is misidentifying a trigger a bad thing? I do not think so. In my case the tech doing the procedure was able to think fast presenting a better alternative. Even though the trigger I had in mind was wrong, it still had to do with something I was dreading… the MRI. Fortunately, this was a big deal and would have not been positive if I had avoided this procedure just to get out of something negative.
So many times, a person will avoid something potentially important because of a small detail that ultimately can be pushed through. Many clients I have worked with let a small detail or trigger if you will derail them from completing a much bigger goal.
One example is a client of mine contemplating entering nursing school which would require a solid year of classes. What is tripping this client up is the required work and dedication as this program is full time and cannot be broken up into smaller increments. The question is whether or not this client is willing to put up with a year of temporary inconveniences and the dedication of meeting deadlines required to complete the program.
This can also be true of a couple who knows their house is in need of renovation and that project is going to take close to a year. The question becomes is if a person is willing to put up with short term pain and inconvenience to get to a better place of the dividends an advance degree does for a career or how much nicer a newly renovated house is.
One of the best feelings is relief, when something dreaded is over with. That relief is also very fulfilling when a great achievement is earned. Is there anything in your life you are dreading that if you were able to get through, would have some major benefits?
If you are looking for a therapist near you then a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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