When Fear Becomes Toxic. Nowadays it is really easy to get caught up in fear with COVID19 and headlines in the news that I think “they have to make some this up.” I read a headline yesterday saying the CoronaVirus has killed more people than the Vietnam War. Does not sound to encouraging.
Fear is defined as the body’s reaction to a perceived threat. The body, when it senses a threat in fight the fear, escape the fear or become paralyzed to the fear. The perceived threat can be almost anything and comes in many, many forms. Usually it is the fear of the unknown where a person cannot determine an exact outcome.
This week I started working with a client who is an Au Pair for a family with two children. This client loves the children but deep inside resents the children’s parents for harshly criticizing her and giving her hard and almost unrealistic demands. My client is also young and absolutely fears conflict. This person’s fear is that if she brings up any issue at all that it would cost her, her job.
The client really does not deal with the children’s parents much at all since they have a job during the day. Most instances happen on the weekend when the entire family is around all day. What adds more complexity to the situation is that an Au Pair spends an entire year with the family 24/7. The client has been with the family for five months, so it is not like she could bring up this issue while having a next step.
The client’s fear is valid as the client feels like she has no other option. The fear becomes toxic when a person buries those emotions because they can spill over in other areas. An example would be that a person finds themselves taking out an issue on someone who is not the offender, potentially damaging the relationship.
Other healthy ways of dealing with fear is to exercise. Me personally, I am really able to process a fear of mine and weigh out all of the options when I am driving. Definitely express feelings of discontent. If not, it will exhaust your spirit more so than you can handle.
If you are looking for a therapist near you and a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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