What to do when you know you are going to be triggered? What if?
Over the years as I have gotten older, as we all do, I have noticed some changes in myself that were polar opposites ten years ago. Even though I would never have described myself as a true extrovert, there was a lengthy period of time where I got recharged being around other people, sometimes people I did not know. Now when I think about being around a lot of people, I cringe. Perhaps it is a hazard of my job as I talk and listen to people for a living. Perhaps I am getting a lot more introverted as I have gotten older.
As a counselor I have a number of continuing education hours to get each year. Some of those mean going to conventions. What I do when I know I am going to be in an environment where I will most likely be triggered at some point is to think through and make contingency plans.
A few years ago, I went to a convention called “Person Centered Counseling.” My job even paid for this, so I really had to go. The whole convention was two days from 9am to 5pm with many breaks. My thought going in was to sit as close to the back as possible. Everyone else seemed to have that thought as the only space available was a table in the very front. Having no choice, I took my seat.
One of my triggers has to do with claustrophobia. I hate being enclosed as it adds to the fear of the possibility of not making it to a bathroom or exit when and if it is needed. Even in the front, I still had access to bathrooms and exits. Except it would take a bit longer to get to either one plus it would be much more noticeable. What to do?
I did plan accordingly which helped to ease any anxiety. That planning meant bring a change of clothes, knowing the schedule, knowing the room and building and if a worst-case scenario did happen, to have that thought through.
Everything actually went pretty well. The only thing that caught me off guard was that the keynote speaker asked a bunch of questions to the person who was sitting next to me. Feeling overwhelmed at the moment I got up and left the room, went outside and breathed in some cold air. That was it. The moment passed. Even if a worst-case scenario does happen, one thought that helps me is to remember it will soon be a memory.
Sometimes, having a “worst fear” happen can be liberating. When I lived in Orlando, Florida, I was in Toastmasters for about five years. I remember giving this speech and I came to a part that I thought was really funny. I told the joke, expecting to hear thunderous laughter, I heard nothing. Hey, I was still living at that point and it was not nearly as bad as I thought.
What is a fear of yours that you have had to deal with because it is part of your job or for a person you care about? How have you dealt with the experience?
If you are looking for a therapist near you then a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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