Three questions asked to every new client…
Many of my clients come to counseling as a sort of a last-ditch effort. They have tried everything they can and their end where reaching out for help may not be the last on their list, but close. A large percentage of those who have started counseling think they need a medication to better control symptoms of depression, anxiety or grieving a loss. Although medication at times is the best option, I ask these questions pertaining to how well they are taking care of themselves.
My first and in my opinion, the most important question pertaining to self-care is, “How is your sleep?” Getting consistent quality sleep is vital! In my opinion, one of the reasons Mondays are so loaved and dreaded is because a person is coming off two nights where they have gone to bed later and facing the start of a new week. Consistent getting poor sleep will feel the equivalent to major depression. Not much is worse than getting up at 6am after what feels like no sleep facing eight hours of work only to have to repeat these four more times.
Insuring quality sleep is so important to a person’s well-being even if it calls for having the exact same bedtime for each night, even on weekends. That is hard for some clients to hear. Very few have implemented this but the fewer that have said that developing this new routine has been more than worth it. The time lost going to bed early on Friday is made up the next morning getting up earlier.
The second question I will ask is, “How do you recharge?” This question is tied to a person’s introversion or extraversion but if they are not getting their recharge time, they are not going to be at their best. An introvert typically gets their recharge by time spent by themselves or with one or two others. Recharging may look like watching a movie or television, reading or in this post COVID time, working from home. Although a person is alone, when they are recharging, they are processing how their day went, processing something ongoing like grieve over a loved one’s death or a job transition or loss. Introverts need to process before they interact with others.
Extraverts are the opposite in that they recharge being around other people so that they can process how their day has gone, how a major change in their life is going or managing the various roles in their life such as being a spouse, a parent and their work title. Both introverts and extraverts need people. The introvert needs to process before being around others to feel the freedom of having already done any processing whereas the extravert sort of gets the fuel needed to do the work of processing from being around people first.
The third question, “Do you exercise.” This is kind of a bonus question. If a person seems to be doing well with getting consistent sleep and know they need an hour or so to get time to themselves or with others, they have a pretty good idea of how they are doing.
What is wonderful about exercise is that not only is it great for the body, but it is better for the mind. Benefits of exercise boosts a person’s self-esteem, improves a person’s mood, wards of depression and helps manage anxiety because of exercise is having a clearer head. Exercise helps in the process of, processing. Exercise can be burst of walking for 10 minutes a day and going from there.
Yes, it is possible to be getting consistent sleep, recharge and exercise and still feel the need to see a therapist. Getting the daily checklist of healthy options is not a formula to not be experiencing any depression or anxiety in some capacity.
If you are looking for a therapist near you then a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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