As I licensed counselor in the state of North Carolina, part of my criteria to become fully licensed is to accumulate 2,000 direct face-to-face hours with clients and 1,000 indirect hours which can be from personal reading and research. Those 1,000 hours fill up quickly. Those 2,000 hours takes a few years. Another part of the criteria to be a fully licensed counselor is to get 100 direct hours with a supervisor who is also a licensed counselor.
From the time I was hired as a counselor to the time I was fully licensed took three years. Those three years I saw the same supervisor once a week. A phrase from the supervisor that kind of burrowed into my head is “process the process.”
Getting my hours with each session, I would sort of feel stuck if a client or couple suddenly became heated and emotional. My first reaction was to change the direction of the session and/or comfort the client. Instead, my supervisor would say “process the process” meaning to get into and break down the reasoning and meaning behind the emotions. In time I have felt more equipped and confident in processing the process that was before me.
As a therapist I am a contractor for three practices in addition to my own upstart practice. One of those practices that I have been with for almost five years works primarily with clients who are receiving Medicaid benefits. Many of those clients live in group homes who I have seen for at least four of those five years. Some of these clients I have developed a solid relationship with and others, well, not so much.
One home can have up to five clients I have been working with. Out of those five, two of those are fully invested in therapy. One time after I had finished a session with one of the invested clients he would say, “Mr. Jeff wants to talk to you.” The next thing I hear is “I don’t want to talk to him!” as I am thinking they do not think I hear them. The next time I called this group home the person who made this statement answered.
To “process the process” I simply made a statement that was not accusatory, was fairly neutral but genuinely expressing a desire to talk. I said “I noticed you were not present last week. How are things going?” I did not mention that I overheard what was said the previous week but showed genuine interest in their wellbeing.
Processing the process is essentially not letting a comment or thought whether it is random or intentional go. Processing the process is also not giving the other person an out. Processing the process is pausing the conversation for the goal of getting more clarity and meaning behind what a person said.
This can be a challenge for anyone who is just waiting and wanting a hard conversation to be over and/or wanting to get out of a conversation because it is uncomfortable. An objective party, such as a therapist has an easier time spotting what is going on because they are not as invested as the people having the conversation.
Processing the process can work both in the moment of a conversation as well as revisiting a conversation a day to a week later with more time of reflection. The point is to address the subject even if it is potentially hard to process in order for it to now gain momentum to become a larger issue. When the problem is caught early, it is easier to deal with and address. This task becomes easier in time with each use.
Long story short, this client I was mentioned thought he did not need therapy anymore as this person had met one of their goals of getting and maintaining a part-time job. Hearing this made sense as from this person’s point of view. With the program this person is a part of weekly therapy is still a requirement. What was important was that I did not let this behavior go on without it being addressed.
Processing a process or behavior is much easier written about than done. A starting point may be is to process something less personal where the outcome of it is negligible. The hardest part is starting.
If you are looking for a therapist near you then a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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