Lessons in counseling. When I first started counseling full-time in 2016, I was asked many times, “How do you know what to say?’ One answer would be to name some of the theories I have learned in graduate school such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or Person-Centered Therapy. I could drop some names like Carl Jung, Carl Rogers, Alfred Adler or even Sigmund Freud. In going on my fourth year of counseling I think it does not have to do with what I say but how much I listen.
Listening sounds simple, however it requires me to be active and fully present with the client. Many times, this is far more difficult than thinking of dialogue at the moment. This process of active listening starts to form the therapeutic bond between the counselor and client. The first few sessions the client may unload an array of emotions that has built up for months or even years. Sometimes that release has been pent up so long that the very process of the client getting all of that out causes them to feel so much better. Lessons in counseling.
When I think about it, I do not say very much in a session compared to the amount of information the client gives. When I do speak it is usually in the form of asking one or two clarifying questions to prompt the client to think through their circumstances through a different lens or setting. Lessons in counseling.
I have been told many times by clients through the years that they feel very safe around me because they know that they have my undivided attention. Another reason why I so listen intently is because I have partial deafness in my left ear, so I have to concentrate.
If you are looking for a therapist near you and a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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