Lately I have been watching Cobra Kai on Netflix. I knew that it was on YouTube and seeing the previews when it first premiered I thought it was a parody of the “The Karate Kid” movies in the 1980’s. Following some of my friends on Facebook I read over and over how “Cobra Kai” is a great show. So, I watched a few episodes…. or maybe the first season.
The show is about the two main characters; Daniel played by Ralph Macchio and Johnny played by William Zabka. In the movie Daniel won a competition over Johnny and thus the two are still rivals 35 plus years later. The show takes place in the present where Daniel is a successful car dealership owner and Johnny is pretty much still stuck in the 1980’s as he drives the same Trans Am he did in 1984.
Cobra Kai does an incredible job of character development. The show is rated for teens and has some offensive language, but it can be dismissed. Johnny is opening a Dojo called “Cobra Kai” that he was a student of in the 1980s. Daniel is doing everything he can to stop this. The biggest character arc is Johnny.
I have watched the first season. Johnny has opened his Dojo and the students are sort of “rejects” from school. Some students are overweight, one has a cleft pallet and one is a short guy who I can very well identify with. Long story short, each one of these students have found confidence in themselves, which is a great thing.
Johnny was invited to dinner by a parent of one of his students. Johnny was talking about his up bringing and how he did not have such a great childhood being from a wealthy family living in an affluent neighborhood. The mother of the family said, “Your past does not have to define you.” After this Johnny started to make changes first cleaning up his messy apartment. Instead of the typical “80’s training montage,” it is the modern-day cleaning montage.
Even though I do not really know anyone who is stuck in the past I do know of some people whose decision-making process is impeded because of rules originated from there family or a significant person from there past. This can be a problem when a person is in there 40’s and has a family but is still living as an adolescent.
Someone stuck in the past and making decisions based off of what their parents’ rules were have not fully reached being an adult and have not become independent of their parents. So how does a person stuck in the past get unstuck?
Many times, a person stuck in the past is there because it is all they know, and that is safe. Any kind of change or growth is going to be painful in some way. Making a change of any kind is uncomfortable. Literal growth is painful as bone plates are expanding and fusing. Emotional growth is painful because it is awkward, unpleasant and sometimes unknown. A person stuck in the past is clinging on out of a sense of safety because it is all they know.
To become unstuck is to find your footing and committing to making a change and sticking to the change no matter what. Each successful change gives confidence for the next. This change could be trying out for the football team or making a career change from what your parents wanted for you versus what you are really passionate about. That kind of change is hard but is very worth it if a person commits and stays with the goal.
This is not at all to say that you turn your back on your parents or any kind of maternal figure at all. Part of growing is making a change of any kind and learning how to stand on your own with this new change. If you need help from your parents, a family member of a friend, by all means get the help needed to navigate through a change of whatever size whether it is buying a house or raising a child.
Even though I have just watched the first season of Cobra Kai I kind of have an idea of where Daniel and Johnny are going. Daniel is prepping to teach students at a Dojo of his own while Johnny is going to do things a bit different. I have plans on watching season two as fast as possible and am anxiously awaiting season three!
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