Worrying or worry in general is a feeling of defeat before an event has even started. The past few weeks, with the events in Ukraine, I have spoken with several people worrying about how this conflict will unfold.
One of the symptoms of General Anxiety Disorder is excessive worry. This is worrying a person cannot turn off. Worry by itself is several steps down from the diagnosis as the full criteria for GAD include other symptoms.
Worry always looks through the lens of what is right in front of you. Worry is always in the moment without being able to see ahead.
An exercise that takes some time with practice is setting that worry aside temporarily with faith that someone or something will happen later to change the circumstances. This concept is a parallel to the definition of faith in the Bible. The verse in Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”
With the events going on in Ukraine, the challenge is there is really nothing anyone can do about it. With the enormity of what is going on, it is very easy to jump to a dire worst-case scenario. When this started three weeks ago, the possibility of a dire outcome was much closer to reality. Except, that is not how events have played out. Nine times out a ten, an event always transpires differently than one may think.
Russia has faced immense pushback they were not counting on. Zelensky has not given in and will not surrender. Yet, this event is not over, which leaves some room for worry. So, is there a way to contain that worry to not get out of control?
The answer is incredibly easier to say than do, but the exercise is worth starting and in time gets better. Essentially, give the event of what is causing the worry some time and see how it plays out.
Two years ago, when it was declared that COVID19 was a pandemic I found myself worrying about negative implications to myself and my job. I am immunocompromised putting me in the high-risk category with my health. Plus, with my job, I talk with people for a living in fairly close quarters.
The main worry I carried for a few weeks had to do if I would be able to do my job any longer since counseling involves two people primarily in the same room. Most likely less than six feet apart.
However, what transpired the following few weeks could not have worked better for me. Since meeting people over Zoom became the mandate for seemingly all business interactions I was and am still able to meet with clients. A room at my house became my office. This has been the norm for the past two years.
The same happened with the current news in the Ukraine. Several what ifs came to mind. What if Russia attacks overseas? What if Russia bombs the United States with EMP’s wiping out power grids?
With both scenarios, tabling those “what if’s” for a few days or even a few weeks as I saw the news play out offered reinforcement that what I was thinking was way off. Any emotion that is not dealt with whether the emotion is based in fear, worry or anxiety is going to surface eventually.
With waiting, the worry and anxiety are not being dismissed. Instead, with the exercise of waiting, instead of spiraling into worry and anxiety, instead allows natural events to play out before arriving at a catastrophized conclusion.
Regarding what is going on in Ukraine, there are two things that we can all do. We can pray about the events going on in Ukraine and give to causes supporting the Ukrainians.
If you are looking for a therapist near you then a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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