Caregiver Burnout. One of the jobs that I have is being a caregiver for my dad. My dad is on kidney dialysis and is on several kidney transplant lists. My dad would go to the VA (Veteran’s Administration) for dialysis three times a week. Recently, we investigated home dialysis that would have to be done every day on a machine.
What I was not counting on is the week of training that I would have to go through as backup for my dad. My job is not salaried so that is time and money lost. I thought since this would add more quality of life for my dad it would be worth it. Also, each of these trainings start at 6:30am which means waking up at 5am. Caregiver Burnout.
Personally, the training was intense but doable. The daily regimen is incredibly detailed but in time I knew I would catch on. Trial and error when learning a new task is the best teacher for me. The problem was that there is no room for error. Any contamination that could be from not washing my hands properly to screwing in a piece of equipment too high or low could result in an infection for my dad. My dad has a line going straight to his stomach. Zero germs are allowed. Caregiver Burnout.
Over the weekend I was feeling more encouraged as there is a video on YouTube of the procedure, plus I had a manual and the machine has instructions. Going into training on Monday I was thinking this has to be the last day because I could not take any more time off of work. Still, I was making mistakes that could result in an infection.
Slowly, very slowly, resentment entered into my mind. I could not help it. Again, I was thinking this would be great for my dad so I will stick it out while on the inside I was not liking this one bit. This would require both my dad and me to coordinate when I would hook him into the machine and eight hours later to take him off the machine. I love structure. My dad, not so much.
Also, what was going on with my dad is he realized the machine made things more complicated instead of less. Long article short, after a very honest discussion, my dad voiced his doubts and I felt the freedom to express my doubts as well. Now, all is well, My dad is going back to the VA.
What happens when you are feeling resentful toward someone you are caring for? To begin, do not stuff any feelings of resentment down as they will definitely come out in some form at a later time. Even if it is to yourself, process what you are feeling. Scream it out, write it out, take it out on something inanimate. When you feel you have this under control, talk to the other person. Verbalize what you are feeling and work through any anger and/or frustration. Holding any kind of resentment will hard your relationship with your mom, dad or whomever you are caring for.
If you are looking for a therapist near you and a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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