Comparing is unhealthy. “When you compare yourself to another person you are either going to be prideful or depressed and neither of those are any good.” These were words spoken to me nearly 20 years ago to me by a ministry partner I was having lunch with when I was a missionary with Cru (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ). These words always stayed with me because this person was right. Comparison is not healthy because you are either setting yourself against an unrealistic standard or you are the standard.
Growing up, comparison was never really a big deal. I had friends or family who had a cooler toy or gadget I wished I had but nothing more. I never really considered myself competitive either. I did try some sports such as baseball, basketball and soccer. I was not really good at any of these sports, so I had a fairly balanced view of myself. Whenever I did have some sort of victory in sports, I celebrated it but never let it go to my head. That was until high school when a switch went off in my head and comparison became poisonous. Comparing is unhealthy.
In my sophomore year of high school, I was having really bad headaches, so a test was ordered. The test showed that I had a benign tumor and I took a steroid called Prednisone to keep it under control. In the years following I learned I had a chronic illness where my immune system attacked my own body. I accepted this but I could not help but think, why doesn’t anyone else deal with this?
Looking back, I was setting myself up for failure as I was thinking something was wrong with me because I saw everyone as normal, which was the standard. What I did not realize is that every person deals with their own circumstances that often are not visible on a surface level. My particular issue was on the surface level.
Anytime you think the grass is greener on the other side, remember that other person has their own deficiencies that they would like to be different as well. A favorite verse from the Bible, 1 Timothy 6: 6-8 reads, “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”
If you are looking for a therapist near you and a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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