As a counselor I have certain parameters I have to follow with clients. One of those is that I have to remain completely objective to a client and what they are going through. Probably the biggest reason a counselor is so important is the client and the counselor have absolutely zero relationship with the other. This way counselors have zero bias with a client and can be completely forthright offering tough feedback if needed. Part of my journey as a counselor has been getting a feel for the type of client, I would get along with better than another.
Two clients of mine are polar opposites. Client one is very conservative, has Christian values and even lives fairly close to me. Client two, polar opposite from client one practices witchcraft, is very liberal and goes by they/them pronouns. Knowing that I have to approach these two clients with no bias, it can still be perplexing connecting with someone with opposite views.
Client number one was actually referred to me about a month ago. This client is two years older than I am (48) and is going through a mid-life crisis of sorts. His wife actually referred him to me as she sent me an email asking if I adhere to conservative politics and am a Christian. Since I am both, I started to meet with the client.
About six months ago this client was in a bad car wreck causing neck problems. This in turn affected his job in counterterrorism. With the effects of COVID-19 and the stress of this job, he made a decision to leave the job. Now his challenge has been the boredom of being home all day struggling with the thoughts of if his life has made a difference for other people.
Client number two dropped out of college and struggles with authority. A lot of this client’s inner turmoil comes from being raised in an abusive and manipulative home. Recently this client moved away from home for the first time into a house with four other friends with similar backgrounds.
I have been meeting with client number two for almost a year. There is no “theme” or central topic in this client’s sessions as each one is so entirely different as the client is very sporadic. A lot of the work with this client has been for her to gain that independence from her family and to process the various traumas this person has been through.
On the surface, it seemed to me that I would relate better with client one. After all we have many similarities already. The biggest difference is that he is nearly a foot taller than me. Client one sought me out specifically so I thought this would be a great clinical match of sorts. About two sessions in the client wanted to meet twice a week, so I thought he was really benefiting from counseling.
The big difference between the two is that client one desires a solution that has to meet his specific expectations and criteria. If client one does not like what he hears or reads, it is thrown out without a second thought. In a recent session he referenced a specific commentator on Fox News that I was not familiar with. The next day he texted me citing that I seemed to unaware of this commentator he mentioned. In that text he wanted to know where I got my news from.
The huge difference with client two, which makes all the difference in the world is that client two is teachable and open to feedback, even welcoming it. Client two shows a genuine interest in therapy and even schedules day’s off of work around the day that we meet. Although client two and I do not see eye to eye in politics, there is a great clinical relationship there. Client two has helped me to empathize better with someone I initially do not see a commonality with.
Client one still has two sessions with me booked next week! In that text I responded that I watch news from ABC, CBS and the 700 Club that my dad watches. Client’s one’s response…”it is good to news from all sides. See you Monday at 1pm.” The image of my “ideal client” changes daily. I have my favorites who I have had great rapport with from the start but also favorites where rapport has been built slowly over many sessions.
If you are looking for a therapist near you then a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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