Giving Grace. One question I have been asking clients more often is “do you give grace to yourself.” Most client’s puzzled ask me what I mean by this question. I will reword the question asking, “do you give yourself permission to fail.” Still not clear the client...
Communication Fallacies. Mind reading thoughts usually begin with “should statements” such as “you should act this way when this happens” or “you should feel a certain level of gratitude each time I do this.” Even if an event or the same situation has been repeated...
Mixed Messages. Recently I was asked to write an article for marriage.com. The ironic part is that I have never been married. However, I have listened to many clients over the years who were in a certain predicament traced back to issues with communication or rather,...
Letting go. A few weeks ago, I went to go get a haircut and the hairdresser said, “I notice a few grey hairs here.” Part of me reacted,” really?” and then I thought “it had to happen sometime.” As I have gotten older, I have had to accept that there are things I am no...
I have met with Arty for two years now. Arty lives in a group home with four other people and gets overwhelmed easily. Because of this, he will frequently keep to himself and has trouble opening up. A further complication is that Arty has Schizophrenia will has...
Work then have fun. Not much is more rewarding than closing a big (or small) list of items for the day. I confess that I am kind of a “to do list addict.” There is proof that when you get those tasks completed, you not only have a lot of weight off of you, this makes...
Comparing is unhealthy. “When you compare yourself to another person you are either going to be prideful or depressed and neither of those are any good.” These were words spoken to me nearly 20 years ago to me by a ministry partner I was having lunch with when I was a...
I have been meeting with Anna for close to two years now. Anna has been through some hard circumstances as she was once homeless and lived in a mental institution for a period of time. About ten years ago, Anna was able to move to a group home where she lives now....
Increase productivity. As a therapist seeing four to seven people per day can be a really daunting task. It is made worse if I had not had a great sleep the night before. These clients have booked time with me, so it is my obligation to meet with each person listening...
Listening. When I first started counseling full-time in 2016, I was asked many times, “How do you know what to say?’ One answer would be to name some of the theories I have learned in graduate school such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or Person-Centered Therapy. I...
