As a #counselor I have discovered that I want to work myself out of a job as far as helping clients to reach their goals. However, I have seen a pattern of “aha” moments some clients come to where they turn a corner and are better able to manage their anxiety/depression/grief/anger/hopelessness. This process comes through perspective leading to acceptance. Let me explain acceptance through perspective.
Seeing clients can range from a few sessions like three or four to some I have seen for five years. Like a chronic illness such as diabetes, an irregular heartbeat or the like, there are also chronic mental illnesses such as anxiety and/or depression sometimes manifesting in a combination of the two.
The past three months I have had a handful of clients say, “I will set up an appointment with you if I need to,” which is also a polite way of saying, “I do not need counseling now.” That is a good thing.
An example of one these cases is someone who grew up in a very affluent part of the world and one of their goals had been to land a job at a prestigious company in the United States. This person is brilliant and landed that high profile job. This person moved overseas to the US and the first couple of months were better than they could have imagined. This was even during COVID.
Things changed fast when the novelty of moving to a foreign country wore off and they suddenly felt crippling anxiety. This in turn affected their #sleep which in turn affected their job performance.
When we did meet for counseling this person could hardly breath. What had helped this person #cope was having regular #communication with loved ones at home. This person knew the easy fix would be to quit their job and move back home. The client was determined to finish the contract they were hired for.
The first two sessions we talked about keeping two journals. One journal this person would write down their #thoughts and feelings to process emotions and to have a record of thoughts. The second journal is what I call a “trigger journal.” This journal is writing down the details of a trigger and the feeling surrounding the trigger like depression or anxiety. The person would record the time of day, the type of environment they are in and even who they are around. This client could not get enough assignments like this so they wanted me to send everything I could.
As the client recorded what triggers they could deduce, they realized the worst time was when they tried to go to sleep. When a person is going to sleep, the mind tends to be more at rest with thoughts less anxious. Unfortunately, the client said going to sleep was the hardest time for them as anxious thoughts bombarded when they were trying to go to sleep.
The length of time between the second and last session was almost two weeks as the client had to travel for work. When we did meet for the third session this person’s demeanor and speech were so much different. Part of this was because the client was finally able to get quality sleep without any medication such as melatonin.
What did the trick? This client came to the realization that they were always going to be living with anxiety in some form. Another #realization the client made was knowing there is nothing wrong with having anxiety.
There is less of a stigma around mental health as the subject has become so much more prominent. Unfortunately, there are still people who do hold a negative view of people who get counseling. In the case of this client, people in their family still had that negative #bias of counseling.
Another factor that set this client up for success is their determination. This person knew there were going to experience anxiety but was not going to let that derail their future.
One reason for destigmatizing the need to care for mental health have been celebrities sharing their journey with anxiety and depression. The term “self-care” has become more popular because of the importance and necessity of taking time to make sure a person’s mental health is in a good place. Even Amazon’s #Alexa now has a feature where it will dispense #self-care tips upon request.
A big part of my motivation for being a counselor was going through the process of counseling for myself. One of the obstacles for starting the process was knowing a family member of mine who held a negative bias of counseling. I had to make the decision of placing greater #priority on my mental health versus being influenced by this one family member just to keep the peace. Also, this was over 20 years ago.
What about you? How much priority do you give to the maintenance of how you are feeling emotionally?
If you are looking for a therapist near you then a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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