This past week I had a client who decided to discontinue services with me. I had been working with this client for about two months and his reasoning for wanting to pursue counseling was to work on his being too critical on other people, most of all with his spouse.
Around the second session the client made it quite clear that he does not like any kind of small talk and wants to jump right into the issue. During many of the sessions I would ask follow up questions in which the client would annoying say that he answered that question a few sessions back.
Putting myself in his shoes I could see how that could be offending for him that I did not recollect this detail. However, reality is that I have 40 plus clients and I cannot remember every detail which most client understand. I believe that was his last straw. On this day it was so easy to get offended and defensive. This is just one person. That same day I had a client thank me for being such a great counselor.
One of my contract jobs is with BetterHelp which is online based where will see at least 20 clients a week some of whom have been for over a year. BetterHelp has a “stats” tab which grades me in “client recommendation,” “communication variety,” timely responses,” “respect and support,” “understanding of concerns” and “confidence in expertise.”
My overall score “client recommendation” is not as high as I would like it, but I have over ten 5-star reviews from clients I have met through the online platform. Reading my reviews really helps me get that larger perspective of the clients that I have helped versus the fewer ones I do not help.
There is an online personality test like the Myers Briggs where one of the questions is “if there were 100 people in the room where 99 liked you and 1 person disliked you, what would you care about more? The point of this question is to gauge how you to take criticism both positive and negative.
This person that decided to not meet anymore with me definitely gave me some areas to reflect on. I think I take fairly good records and notes but clearly there is room for improvement.
It is easy to concentrate on the one thing that is not working over the many more things that are not. Sometimes that one thing that is not working needs to be paid attention to. In this case, I many more clients that are working. How do you determine what needs attention and what does not?
If you are looking for a therapist near you then a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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