Growth: When do you stop chasing a goal? I have written about expectations when setting a goal before. In this post, I wanted to illustrate growth in a different but still applicable context. Are you familiar with the game Two Truths and a Lie?
This is typically a game that serves as an ice breaker meeting a new group of people. Nevertheless, I always do well at this game. Tell me if you think this is a truth or a lie: I grew my last five inches of height after I was 25 years old. Sounds like a lie for sure, doesn’t it? However, it is the truth.
The year was 2000 and I went to a doctor’s appointment because at the time I was 4’11”. I asked the doctor if I could have an x-ray of my wrist, which shows if I have reached my full growth potential. My bones were close to being fused but not completely.
I was told I had maybe an inch left, and they asked if I wanted to pursue growth hormone shots which would have been potentially very expensive. The short story is that I was approved for the shots and started them September of 2000. My expectation was that I would be at least 5’8” within two years. That is not at all how it happened.
Expectations and how loosely you hold on to them plays a tremendous role when there is a desired goal, especially when it is a personal. This applies to personal growth, literally and emotionally. My mindset was that in two years I was be 5’8” The truth was that the process was much slower. It took almost 7 years to reach my present height of 5’4”.
From a medical perspective, this was unheard of. Do I wish I could have made it to 5’8”? Probably. In hindsight, when I think about the sheer amount of resources and a couple thousand shots administered daily, it is astounding. Also, since the whole process took seven years, I realized times when I wanted to give up would turn into to more resilience.
When a desired goal is not met in the time, we thought it could have been achieved and requires more work and resources, it is very easy to get discouraged and give up. If and when this does happen, have you reassessed the steps required to meet your goal and if those steps need to be changed? Also is there something different you can do? Can you bring in someone to consult your situation?
There are so many factors when deciding to ultimately stop something that was showing promise but is not at the time. Before stopping, ask yourself this question: if you do decide to stop pursuing this goal that is not showing fruit presently, will you regret the decision later on?
If the answer is yes, then by all means reexamine your goal and think through a different approach to your goal. If the answer is no, by all means stop pursuing the goal if you have peace of mind.
If you are looking for a therapist near you and a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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