Mixed Messages. Recently I was asked to write an article for marriage.com. The ironic part is that I have never been married. However, I have listened to many clients over the years who were in a certain predicament traced back to issues with communication or rather, not communicating well or at all.
The two most common issues I have seen with individuals and couples have to do with one partner assuming or expecting their mind to be read. The other issue is simply not taking responsibility of a mistake of any kind such as saying and meaning “I’m sorry” or “I messed up.” Mixed Messages. When you expect a certain result without clearly communicating your intentions, this can cause consequences going as far as resenting the other person.
One client I meet with in particular desires to be appreciated. Who doesn’t? This client has made the assumption that if he provides a certain level of care, this exact act should be reciprocated. When this does not happen, he will get very angry. This person is essentially assuming “since I do this, then I should get this back in return.” When the person is not getting back what they assume they should, not only is this person angry but the other party may very well feel taken for granted causing resentment.
If you are looking for a therapist near you and a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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