Dealing with grief. Processing grief is hard and dealing with the a new reality of a loss feels hopeless . However, processing grief and embracing the “new normal” as well as facing the pain instead of running from it is necessary to deal with through life as the end of grief leaves you that much stronger and better equipped.
Grief can be over a number of reasons such as the death of a loved on, the ending of a significant relationship, divorce, dealing with a medical issue such as cancer or dealing with the grief of your own body not being able to do to age or injury. The stages of grief are real but there is no formula as many people will process grief differently.
There are some common factors in order to process grief in a healthy manner while facing the painful reality grief brings. First of all, it is critical to have a strong support system with family and friends in place. No one has ever successfully dealt with grief alone. Have friends and family you can lean on and who will check in with you on a regular basis. Second, know that your feelings are valid and that it is okay to feel sad. Did you know that crying actually activates endorphins? That is why you feel better after a good cry! Third, live your life as you normally would. Go to work, go tho gym, have a good meal with your family. Even though a horrible event happened does not mean that life as we know it will all of a sudden stop.
Last year about this time, my mother passed away. She had had Alzheimer’s Disease since 2010. At first it was a slow progression with the last two years being the most challenging. Even though I knew that Alzheimers would take her, when it finally happened, it was still a shock.
This past year has been a challenge to say the least. There were times when I though I may cry and I did not. There were other times where I thought I was fine and out of no where something would trigger a memory I had with my mom and I would cry. There were times I thought I had fully accepted my mom’s death and was at the end of grieving her only to feel that it started over again.
Normally I really like the fall season and even like it when it gets dark early. Something about me was dreading it because it was in the fall in November of 2018 when my mom passed. A few weeks ago, it was as if a fog cleared up and something clicked. I do not know for sure if I am done driving my mother as I think I will a bit everyday until I see her again. Because of the support of family and friends I was given a “safe space” if you will to process my mother’s passing. Grief is hard and painful to get through, but when it is done right and you are looking reality in the eye, you will be much stronger and better equipped.
If you are looking for a therapist near you and a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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