Wilma (not her real name) has been a client of mine for 3 years. I have met with Wilma every week every Wednesday at 1pm. Wilma has Borderline Personality Disorder. Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder has little to no respect for rules and boundaries for another person. They have this perceived ideal reality about how they think something should work when in reality there are set rules and restrictions.
The first couple of months Wilma would constantly come in late at 1:35pm or even 1:45pm saying on the way that she got thirsty and had to buy something to drink. I told the client we can still have a session, but it will only be for 15 minutes. This set Wilma off like dynamite! She yelled saying that she deserves a full session no matter what time she gets to the appointment. On top of this, I had a 2pm appointment who is always on time who respects the time and Wilma went into my 2pm’s appointed time.
Wilma’s expectation was that no matter what time she came to the office I would see her and have a full session. Reality is that a client has to show up on time to get their full session and has to respect and realize that other people have appointments too.
Despite Wilma getting mad, she continued to come back every week. Sometimes I would get a call from her saying her she had car trouble and wanted me to come pick her up and bring her to the office. That is something I definitely cannot do; so, I stated that along with my reasoning.
Every time Wilma had the expectation that I should make an exception for her to go over time or pick her up in my car I would state what was her responsibility and what was mine. Getting to the appointment was her responsibity. I could not have her go over time as that interfered with another client’s time and I could not pick her up in my car because that is a boundary I cannot cross.
What happened is that Wilma started to see the reasoning of respecting rules such as coming in at an appointed time. Wilma also slowly learned that she could not go over time and realized at the 50-minute mark she had to wrap up.
However, this was an example of one aspect of Borderline Personality Disorder. There are many other symptoms that need to be addressed separately. In the area of respecting another person’s space and time Wilma learned that she must “follow the rules” to get the most out of therapy.
If you are looking for a therapist near you and a Google search is a great way of finding one. I happen to be a therapist in Charlotte, NC but am licensed to counsel anyone in the state of North Carolina. In Google, try looking for “psychotherapist,” “find therapist,” “therapy near me,” or even “counseling charlotte, nc.” If you feel like you have hit a wall you are not able to get past, call me at (704) 458-6298 or email me at jeffhelms@clearerthoughtspllc.com.
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